Eze Writes: Communication tips for a stronger and healthy relationship.

Make it work…

Communication can make or break any relationship ranging from parent-child, sibling, husband-wife, employer-employee, friendship and dating and courtship is no exception. Open and honest communication is the recipe for every healthy relationship. Communication between couples becomes difficult with time and space. Developing very good communication skills can help solve many common relationship conflicts. Let’s try the following tips to make our communication better in our relationship. But you know your relationship better so choose a workable approach.

  • [ ] Be honest. Some times we hear couples saying, “I lied to protect you. I knew you’d be hurt if you knew the truth”. But if you want to create a relationship that fights through hard and difficult times then the courage to be able to speak the truth no matter how hard it is, is an asset. Sometimes the truth hurts but in that lies the key to a healthy relationship. Let your partner know that you’re not perfect and can make mistakes and when you make one, don’t hesitate to tell them and avoid making excuses. It’ll make you and your partner feel better about each other when you get over the pain.
  • [ ] Avoid talking about sensitive issues on phone. Sometimes our facial expressions when making certain statements matter a lot in getting the whole meaning of such statements and these facial expressions are absent when chatting on phone. Text messages, letters and emails can easily be misinterpreted. Talk to your partner in the face to avoid unnecessary misinterpretations and miscommunication that can put the relationship at risk. If it’s a long distance relationship and the issue needs urgent attention, calling your partner to talk about it is the better option.
  • [ ] Find the right time to communicate with your partner. You wouldn’t want to start a conversation only to be shut out by your partner. Sometimes it’s not because they don’t want to engage in a conversation with you but he just isn’t in the right mood to start up a conversation. He might be doing something and doesn’t want to be distracted or he is stressed or having emotional issues. If something is bothering you, it is helpful to find the right time to talk about it. You can even consider scheduling a time to talk if one or both of you are busy or talk about it when you see that your partner is calm or not distracted.
  • [ ] Your body language while communicating with your partner matters a lot in moving things the right direction or wrong direction. When they are talking, pay rapt attention and let them know you are paying attention. Sit up and face them, make eye contact while they are talking or when speaking with them. Show them some respect by not picking up calls, playing video games or texting someone when they are talking or when you’re talking with them. Respond when necessary.
  • [ ] It’s important to be careful with the choice of words so as not to attack your partner. Sometimes you can be saying something with all the genuine intentions and don’t mean any negative but the approach and choice of words can set things up for the worse. Using personal pronouns like “you” will only put your partner in a defensive position as it’s comes as an attack on him. Instead of using “you”, try using “I” or “we”. Instead of saying, “you’ve not been relating well with me”, try saying, “we have not been relating well of late”. Avoid using harsh words and tones when speaking with your partner.
  • [ ] Give yourself some time when you get angry. If your partner does something to make you angry. Give yourself some time to talk about it with them. You don’t need to approach the matter in anger. If after two, three days you’re still hurt, you should consider talking about it, if not try to forget about it but remember that your partner can not read your mind so they will not know what you’re going through and they can’t apologize if you don’t speak up. If you do speak up and they apologize, let it go and never bring it up again.

Communicate better to save the relationships you don’t want to lose. Good communication is an important part of all relationships as said earlier and is an essential part of any healthy relationship. All relationships have ups and downs but a healthy communication style can make it easier to deal with conflict and build a stronger and healthier partnership.

Ezekiel Allotey
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